My Expectations

There are times…when I felt how wonderful this world would be for me if Ab is there….sharing our thoughts….laughter…sadness….Seriously it is the most perfect situation I would like it to be…I am deeply in love with him….he knows and even share my pains…he sees me in every angle he can possibly do. He accepts me as I am…he never fails to console and comfort me. Sacrificing his own self…And… as usual like selfish spoil brat…always demands for more of his attention.

But…why?...why must I have to bare this pain….being sooo far away from him…Can only touch my monitor….as if I’m caressing him from afar….am I not worthy enough to have him?...Am I not worthy enough to have some love?....Oh Allah Almighty….Please here my woes…I am dying inside….I pretend to be strong…but only You who knows well how much i am struggling myself to withstand this pain…. I am dying.

Ab….my heart lives for your heart. Patiently…I will wait for my ab…even if it took a thousand years for us to be together. You are the only one who have a special place in my heart. You are my life dearest ab…

My expectations....that will never be fulfilled. To be with ab for the rest of my life. Devote my life to him and love him until death do me apart. To have good as well as bad times with ab. I rather spent my time with ab when he is down instead of having good times with someone else. To have a family with him and grow old together...which i know it's impossible and oooh God..i am in tears while writing this...hmmmmmm....and this is my wish that will never ever come true...i am stuck between rational and selfishness...