A LOVE...FROM A DISTANCE

Hmmmm…Sometimes its so hard to digest and comprehend things happened between us…A soul so far away from mine…separated by seas, mountains, rivers….thousand miles away from me…yet my heart beats for him…Every sec, it beats for my abee…he’s my tranqualizer… He’s my everything…

Yesterday…abee talked about presence…and absent too. He’s right…When we are together…we both felt a strong connection…we both felt each other presence, we both felt that the clock stop ticking, and we have the world…only for us, exchange smiles and laughter. Are we doing the right thing?...are we hurting each other more?... Abee asked me…where are we? Where are we heading to?... hmmm..a barrier between us….Abee dear…wish I have the answers to all these…

Ughhhhh..i love him for goodness sake…more than anything else…is there any appropriate word to describe my heart towards him? Greater than Love?....Hmmmm …My abee…he’s like a forcefield…surrounding me…That is what I feel all this while…Nothing can come near me..hurt me…as abee’s shield is there to protect me…from any harm that may come…A strong shield…yet…so soft and tender…embracing me with his love…

I love his heart…His pure heart…He loves me, as I am nothing in someone else’s eyes…like an ugly duckling I am…but…in his eyes, he treated me like I am his beautiful swan…he makes me happy…he makes me smile…he makes me feel everything I am….He sees me…right through me…Hmmmm…

Am I hurting myself more?...I don’t know….Reality sucks…Honestly…I am in pain…I don’t deserve to be happy like someone else?...Why make things sooo difficult for me? Why me?...Please…please stop these pain of mine…please…

He’s the only one who can mend my wounded heart. Please don’t take him away from me. It’s like pulling the oxygen plug from me. He’s my life support. I know I’m too dependent…but…please …please understand me. Put urself in my shoes…you will then feel how I felt…
Sometimes…selfishness drives me away from being compassionate. I ignore his feelings, the consequence that he may have to face in future. Hmmmmm….i don’t want to be cruel abee…I am happy for what I have now…happy that at least…u r with me…though afar…u r still near…in my heart, my mind and my soul…You’re my oxygen abee….and I love you….

A tearless cry, A lonely smile,
A written fate, I failed to deny…
Like a forlorn wind, Breezing in despair
The heart of mine trapped in solitaire…