Letter For My Abee...2004

Did u know ab…I nearly died 24 yrs ago…I was 3 that time…I played beside a swimming pool…I slipped and drowned….my father thought that I’m going to die…My whole body turned blue..well..i think i’m supposed to die that time…but…I think I’ve changed my fate. If I die…I will be remembered and loved…rite?...Not like right now….I already messed up with my fate (taqdir)…I think people keep forgetting about me ..People who are so near to me…forget to love me….and I am lost….without love…

Until u came into my life….U saw me…and cherished me with ur love…You are thousand miles away from me…but u had given me this world…u never failed to give me that…the care and love ..larger than life…and …honestly…I am happy…to have someone like you…I am truly happy whenever u are around…who will always be there for me….and appreciates me…and love me…u make me alive again….felt the warmth and comfort from someone who is so faraway yet so near and close to my heart.

But…what if….what if u r not there for me anymore?... what will happen to me…Will I have the same feeling with someone else?...I am ur diamond…but…I can’t live without you anymore dear…I am not that strong anymore…I’ve lost someone dear to me…and I don’t want to face the same situation…I know that for sure…Waiting for you on the net every single day …But what if this thing never happen again…Am I ready to handle this again?...

Will I be lost again…You filled my days with so much hopes and dreams…You gave me love…You gave me support…You are now my strength… I love you for goodness sake…I want you to be always be there for me…accompany me in every steps that I take....make me believe that you are meant for me…

I never asked for anything…from anyone…because I know I can’t have that since I was small…but now every single day of my life…I prayed to Allah…asking for ur well being…to give u health and wealth….so that u can always be there for me…Yes..i am selfish….I want my abee…to always be there beside me..so that I can live my life….bearing in mind that someone out there waiting for me and wish that…every single breath that u take...u will be thinking of me…as what I am doing to u now...every single breath that I take…every beat of my heart….beating for you…and breathing with u….

I don’t know how to expressed it spontaneously dear…its just me…I have so many things to say to u….Whenever I’m with u..i will be lost…lost in words…within ur smiles…and ur comforting presence…I don’t know what else to say…what I do know now is that u will be asking me to be realistic….and yes…we can’t be together…but…hmmmmm…I do pray nite and day that…u will be mine….i am not afraid to say that to u loudly….

Hmmmm…. I just want u to know..that I will always and forever be yours…Who will love you for the rest of my life….That is my vow….