WISH...

Wish…is defined as to have a desire for (as something unattainable). A simple word, with great meanings. We all have our own wishes…sometimes…our wish comes true…and vice versa.

When I was little…I wish I will be loved…unconditionally. And again…it’s just a wish…a wish will stay as a wish…as it is. Then here I am again, 27 yrs later, wishing for the same. Still holding on to my wish, did my wish ever come true?.

Yes…about 4 years ago…I dunno how it happens… Fates do play its role…Met a wonderful guy…with a big heart, intelligent mind, hmmmm…well so many good things about him. A long list it seems. So shall I say that my wish come true?...To be honest…partially.

I love him…as much as he loves me. He gave me what others can’t. A pure love…People were against us…Our friends…even best friends being skeptical about us. None can understand us. I know I have to wake up soon from this wonderful dream of mine. But am I ready?...To wake up and finds that abee is no longer there…the one who offered me the world….sheltered me with his comforting words…He is my life support…my oxygen…without him….hmmmmm life would be sooo…hmmmmm I will be lifeless…I hmmm never blame our fates…Everything happens for a reason.

Then again….do I need to hold on to my wish?...Reflecting back…way back..when I was a lil girl…hiding inside an empty water tank….at the back of our house, crying softly…for the things happened to me that day…I was 8 yrs old that time…I wish that my family would love me unconditionally, the same as they love my brother and my sister. When I was 11 yrs old, still wish the same, when I was kept outside alone during midnite, for not doing house chores, when I was 13, it rained heavily, and I am left alone outside, crying helplessly …for not doing what mom asked me to do. When I was 15, beaten up badly on my knees and seeing all my clothes being burn…a punishment to me. And still I was holding to my wish..firmly…to be loved…unconditionally…

I was 20 yrs old back then, things getting tough for me…I lost my beloved dad, the one and only person who cared for me the most…And…I am still holding on to my wish…even stronger than anyone would have expected…Until I met him…Yes…he’s the one who makes me felt belonged…The one who taught me that this world is a wonderful place to live…and even better if we shared with someone we love. And I love him for that…I love everything about him. His dazzling eyes, breathtaking smiles, his wonderful heart,…an angel sent from above. But…my angel…his time is up..he needs to leave me…huhuhhuhuuh…he will be leaving me soon…and…hmmmm like a lil girl I was back then…crying helplessly…alone…

I hmmmm I think…I already gave up my wish…wishing to be loved unconditionally…At least…I already felt that…loved by abee unconditionally…though its temporary…hmmmmm….now my wish is…hmmm for abee to be happy always…forever!!!!!!...he had given me soo much!!...now its my turn. Thank you for loving me all these years…We’ve been through a lot lately abee…and we both know when this chaos will end…Please take care honey…I love you soo much….none can understand this…only you…who knows…